February 24

Occasionally, you have to accept that spam email subject lines will ask profound questions. Take, for example, this from today’s mailbox: Do you like showing off your pride? It’s certainly something we should all ask ourselves on a regular basis, because who amongst us hasn’t at some point felt as if it was time to show off our pride? It’s no easy task to raise a family of small lions, after all, and you could be forgiven for wanting the world to recognize your efforts when you successfully manage to do so.

I joke, of course; I know it’s not that kind of pride — if only because, hey, of course I’d love to show off that pride! — but instead the one that cometh before a fall. In that case, the spam question is more confusing: How do you show off that kind of pride? Do you have a parade? I’ve heard that pride parades are very popular these days, after all. Or maybe you hold a press conference and announce how proud you are to the world. But is even that showing it off, or just showing off that you have pride? It’s almost enough to make me wish that I hadn’t immediately deleted the email because it was clearly spam, just so that it could’ve explained this somewhat confusing topic a little more.

Perhaps that’ll be the question asked by tomorrow’s spam: Do you delete your spam emails without really looking at them?

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