Seeberraber Hobosoben, What Did You Expect?

Things continue to get busier work wise in ways that feel almost impossible after the last year that I’ve had. It’s a genuinely strange feeling, to go from almost expecting rejection and having a lot of time on my hands to juggling projects and wondering how I’ll get it all done. Was this how things used to be? Was I always quite this busy, before?

(The real answer to that is complicated, because when I was essentially staff at THR, I managed to mix longer pieces with short ones that I could move in and out of effortlessly; I wasn’t writing 1000-word arguments after another all the time. I also wasn’t responsible for tracking payments and deadlines from four or five directions simultaneously, which I suspect may be where my brain is getting more tripped up these days.)

Nevertheless, it feels good to be swamped in this way. Stressful, too, definitely— I felt a tension in my shoulders and back that I honestly don’t think has been there in a year or so, the other day; that was a strange realization — but there’s nothing like the feeling of accomplishment that comes from triumphing over deadline adversity in circumstances like this. I become Alan Cumming at the end of Goldeneye, arms outstretched and yelling, “I am invincible” at the top of his voice in an unconvincing Russian accent.

(Yes, I know he immediately dies after saying that; we’re ignoring that part for now.)

There’s no small amount of mental muscle memory happening as I negotiate everything necessary right now. I have an awareness of what needs to be done, of deadlines lying ahead of me, and I’m finding myself jumping almost instinctively between projects in order to make things happen on time. Without thinking, I’m finding time (making time in some cases) to fit everything in, and somehow making it all work. It feels as if everything is speeding up, but I’m remembering how fast I can move to keep up. Right now, it’s exhilarating.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Time limit is exhausted. Please reload the CAPTCHA.