Teething Troubles

I was just telling Jeff last night — which means that he’ll know exactly when this was written, if he has uncanny recall for conversations that he didn’t realize were that important at the time (they’re still not) — that, when I was first interviewing for the Editor gig at Popverse, there was a lot of discussion over the fact that I’d have less time to write as a result; I would, as the job title suggests, be too busy editing with all that entails. I brushed away such comments, reminding people that I understood what the job title meant, and that I’m sure I’d still have to write a lot as an editor (if nothing else, Tiffany had in the role before me). What I didn’t say, but thought at the time, was that I’d still have this place to write for, and so therefore I’d be fine.

And then the first two weeks of the job came, and I was overwhelmed by them. It’s not that they were bad, in any way, but that there was so much stuff that I hadn’t really expected to take up my brain that was suddenly… just in there, and demanding attention. I was surprised by what I was spending time on, and how much time it was all taking, and I was surprised that there was just so much of it. Again, this isn’t a complaint, per se; I knew (roughly) what the job was when I accepted it, and the new bits were challenges that I am looking forward to mastering more than annoyances or things that make me want to hide under a table and never come out. It’s all just a learning curve, and it only makes sense that those first two weeks had a steeper curve and more learning, all things considered.

Nonetheless: two weeks passed, and I didn’t write anything here. (You didn’t notice, because I write stuff in advance; I’m good like that.) It wasn’t the only change in my schedule, or even in the way my schedule shapes up and shakes out — I found that my head would fill up on reading things, unexpectedly, or that I’d find some peace in scrolling through music on Spotify and listening to snippets before passing judgement, because it made different parts of my brain ping than the ones that were feeling a little bit overworked at the time. (On the plus side, I did find some wonderful music as a result.)

Again, all of these are minor adjustments and it’s early days, yet; more than anything, I’m fascinated by the butterfly wing effect of the new job: the things it impacts that I never saw coming, and learn through experience and suddenly realizing, oh, I’m not up for this after all anymore. I wonder what that’s all about? “We live and learn,” as Alanis Morrissette and so many others before her put it.

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