What the HELL guys? What in the actual hell? Gamora kicks five people in THE ENTIRE MOVIE. We get four pieces of exposition about how she is a living weapon trained to be the ultimate assassin and that is almost as many people as she actually kicks. As much time is spent telling us that Gamora is dead serious as she actually spends being dead serious! What is that? Black Widow kicks more guys in Iron Man II, and that wasn’t even her movie! That scene wasn’t even a necessary scene! They added in an extra scene that was nothing but Black Widow kicking guys, just to make sure that she got to kick a lot of guys!

What does Gamora ACTUALLY do? Well, she gets taken hostage twice (both times by a couple of guys with knives, come on, are you fucking kidding me? GUYS with KNIVES are holding Thanos’ legendary invincible space assassin hostage?), she gets rescued by Star-Lord twice. She has a bunch of feelings. She fights the Evil Girl. (When there are two female characters in a movie, and one is evil, the Good Girl and the Evil Girl have to fight each other, that is the rule.) At the end of the movie she wears a sexy space mini-dress and tells Star-Lord how great he is.

She doesn’t even get a CHAIR. She has to STAND next to Star-Lord so she can tell him he’s great. Rocket Raccoon gets a chair and HE IS A RACCOON. He could sit on Drax’s head! Drax gets a chair, and what idiot even decided to let that violent space maniac into the cockpit in the first place?

I had this really rambly post in my head about how I’ve been seeing a looooooot of appreciation for Marvel’s supposedly great feminist strides but next to nothing in Guardians actually backs that up – Gamora gets some lip service, but nothing to do; Nova Prime just stands around looking concerned; girl fight! whore! – but then I came across this post, which already said it all, and better.

We’re eating this shit up with a spoon and calling it ice cream.

(via tinyampersand)

I’ve already complained about the weird way in which Marvel Studios’ movies are held up as somehow being feminist statements while not, you know, actually treating its female characters very well. I’m glad to see more people get upset about how shitty Guardians actually is when it comes to gender politics.

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