Under (Over) Achieving

The end of the year — and start of a new one, for that matter — is an excuse to look back and take stock, as the conventional wisdom goes. That was surely the thinking behind the work email that went out just before Christmas with statistics for how well the site had performed, what was the most successful story in terms of hits, and so on. As someone who is both a wonk and fascinatingly insecure about whether or not I’m earning my keep, the email was at once fascinating and terrifying, but one thing in particular caught my eye: the fact that I was the writer who’d posted the most stories that year, with close to 750 at time of writing. (By the time the year ended, I was almost certainly above that number.)

What caught my attention was, as counter-intuitive as it may seem, that the number felt low. 750 stories? But there are something like 260 workdays in the year! That means that I was only doing, what, 3 stories a day? That didn’t feel right…! What was I doing with the rest of my time?!? (Note: my math might be off in the number of workdays and the number of stories per day even if the workdays estimate was correct; I’m a writer, not a mathematician, dammit.)

The funny thing is, I know there’s a lot of work that wouldn’t have been tracked in that estimate: the stories as yet unpublished, the edits I do to other people’s stories, the rewrites and updates to other stories — that latter being a significant part of my week, but the stories go uncredited to me even if they’ve been rebuilt, Ship of Theseus style, so that none of the credited author’s work remains and it’s all mine by this point. None of that will show up in the official estimate, because my name isn’t officially attached. I know, objectively and intellectually, that the 750 figure if probably underestimating the actual number by 200 if not more. And yet, I still found myself feeling unexpectedly lazy.

(Wait, if I add on the… 120 pieces or so I created for here, does that make me feel less lazy? I can’t tell.)

I’d say that I want to do more in 2024, but that feels as if I’m signing up to return to being a workaholic, and there are better things for me to do than that, in almost every respect. And yet. Only 750? I know I can do better.

The Comics of December 2023

And so we reach the end of the comics of 2023, with this round-up of what I read in December. (Normally I do it closer to the start of the month, but the holidays distracted me. What do you want?) I went through a period of reading a lot of Christmas-themed comics in the middle of the month, in part because I wasn’t having an especially festive time and I wanted to jumpstart the season somehow. It kind of worked, in the same way that listening to a bunch of Christmas music kind of worked; more than anything, I learned to appreciate the cliche and stereotypes of these comics , and how creators navigated them — leaning in, in some cases, trying their best to avoid them in others.

When I started keeping track, it was something I thought I’d only do for a year as a project. I’ve found myself continuing to note down comics as I finish them. Along the lines, it became a habit instead of a project. The question is, should I keep posting them here for people to see…? We’ll find out this time next month, I guess.

For now, December 2023’s comics.

  1. The Divided States of Hysteria #s 1-6
  2. Dark Ride #1
  3. Transformers (2023) #3
  4. Duke (2023) #1
  5. 2000 AD Prog 2362 (End of year Christmas prog)
  6. Legion of Super-Heroes (2005) #37 (Jim Shooter returns)
  7. Every Judge Dredd strip from 2000 AD in 2023
  8. Excalibur (1988) #83-87
  9. Dark Ride #s 2-4
  10. Every Judge Dredd strip from 2000 AD in 2021
  11. Ultimate Invasion #3
  12. Excalibur (1988) #88-92
  13. Marvel Age #1000
  14. Batman (1940) #678-679
  15. Batman (2016) #129
  16. Jaegir: Warchild
  17. Jaegir: In the Realm of Pyrrhus
  18. Jeagir: Bonecrusher
  19. Jaegir: Valkyrie 
  20. Jaegir: The Path of Kali
  21. Jaegir: Ferox
  22. Marvel Mutts Infinity Comic #1
  23. The Incredible Hulk (2023) #3
  24. Legion of Super-Heroes: Millennium #s 1-2
  25. Miracleman (2015) #1
  26. Titans: Beast World #4
  27. Action Comics #1061
  28. Batman & Robin (2023) #5
  29. Batman (2016) #141
  30. Fire & Ice: Welcome to Smallville #5
  31. Miracleman (2015) #s 2-16
  32. All-New Miracleman Annual #1
  33. Marvel Team-Up (1972) #78
  34. Marvel Two-In-One #78
  35. Marvel Team-Up (1972) #136
  36. What If…? (1989) #s 28-29
  37. Batman (1940) #428
  38. Batman #428 Alternate Edition: Robin Lives!
  39. Daleks: The Ultimate Comic Strip Collection Vol. 1
  40. What If…? (1989) #s 30-32
  41. G.I. Joe (1982) #s 11-20
  42. What If…? (1989) #s 33-34
  43. Secret Empire #s 0-10
  44. Secret Empire: Omega #1
  45. Fantastic Four (2012) #s 5-7
  46. Fantastic Four (2012) #s 8-10
  47. Immortal X-Men #15
  48. X-Men (2021) #26
  49. Doctor Strange (2023) #s 6-7
  50. The Amazing Spider-Men (2022) #33
  51. Fantastic Four (2022) #11
  52. Scarlet Witch (2023) #s 7-8
  53. Fantastic Four (2012) #s 11-16
  54. Warlock: Rebirth #5
  55. Avengers: Beyond #5
  56. Captain Marvel (2019) #50
  57. Spider-Man (2022) #s 10-11
  58. Moon Knight (2021) #s 25-27
  59. Nightwing (2016) #110
  60. Titans (2022) #7
  61. Superman (2023) #10
  62. What If…? (1989) #s 35-39, 49
  63. Wonder Woman (2023) #5
  64. The Bogie Man #s 2-4
  65. Silver Surfer (1987) #s 139-140
  66. Batman/Superman: World’s Finest #23
  67. Green Lantern: War Journal #5
  68. John Constantine, Hellblazer: Dead in America #1
  69. Justice League of America (1960) #152
  70. The Flash (2016) #13
  71. Green Arrow Annual (2017) #1
  72. Harley Quinn (2016) #10
  73. Batman: Gotham Nights #22
  74. Detective Comics (1937) #826
  75. Hawk & Dove (1989) #20
  76. Superman (1987) #64
  77. Adventures of Superman (1987) #487
  78. DC Comics Presents #67
  79. The New Adventures of Superboy #39
  80. Super Friends (1976) #32
  81. Superman (1987) #109
  82. DCU Holiday Bash #1
  83. DCU Holiday Bash II #1
  84. DCU Holiday Bash III #1
  85. DCU Infinite Holiday Special #1
  86. DC Universe Holiday Special 2009
  87. DC Universe Holiday Special 2010
  88. DC Universe: Rebirth Holiday Special #1
  89. Daredevil (2023) #1
  90. Shadowpact #1-5
  91. Star Trek: Defiant #s 1-3
  92. G.I. Joe (1982) #22
  93. James Bond: Agent of SPECTRE #s 2-5
  94. The Incredible Hulk (2023) #4
  95. Hawk & Dove (1989) #s 21-28
  96. Shadowpact #s 6-8
  97. Star Trek: Defiant #s 4-5
  98. DC Holiday Special 2017
  99. X-Force (2019) #44
  100. Every Judge Dredd strip from 2000 AD in 2022
  101. X-Men Red (2022) #22
  102. DC’s Nuclear Winter Special #1
  103. New Year’s Evil #1
  104. DC’s Very Merry Multiverse #1
  105. The Children’s Crusade #s 1-2
  106. Starman (1994) #27
  107. Batman (1940) #s 596, 598
  108. Justice League Unlimited #s 16, 28
  109. Swamp Thing Winter Special #1
  110. Superman’s Christmas Adventure #1
  111. Action Comics #93
  112. Moon Knight: Silent Knight #1
  113. Merry X-Men Holiday Special #1
  114. Daredevil (1964) #266
  115. The ‘Nam #23
  116. Marvel Two-In-One #8
  117. Iron Man (1968) #254
  118. The Amazing Spider-Man (1963) #314
  119. Wolverine (2003) #49
  120. The Winter Soldier: Winter Kills #1
  121. Daredevil (2011) #7
  122. King in Black: Immortal Hulk #1
  123. Season’s Beatings #1
  124. GLX-Mas #1
  125. King in Black: Iron Man/Doctor Doom #1
  126. World’s Greatest Super-Heroes Holiday Special #1
  127. Doctor Doom (2019) #s 1-5
  128. Doctor Doom (2019) #s 6-10
  129. Iron Man (2020) #s 1-15
  130. Iron Man (2020) #s 16-25
  131. Runaways (2017) #s 1-9
  132. 2000 AD Free Comic Book Day 2016, 2017, 2020, 2021
  133. Klaus and the Crisis in Xmasville
  134. Iron Man/Hellcat Annual #1
  135. Hellcat (2023) #s 1-5
  136. Thunderbolts Annual 2000 #1
  137. Avengers Annual 2000 #1
  138. Klaus and the Crying Snowman
  139. Klaus and the Life and Times of Joe Christmas 
  140. Titans: Beast World #5
  141. Green Arrow (2023) #8
  142. Amazons Attack (2023) #4
  143. The Penguin (2023) #6
  144. Batman: The Brave and the Bold (2023) #9
  145. Titans: Beast World Tour – Star City #1
  146. The Flash (2023) #5
  147. Once and Future #s 1-10
  148. Runaways (2017) #s 10-11
  149. Once and Future #s 11-18
  150. Runaways (2017) #s 12-38
  151. Green Lantern: Mosaic #9 
  152. Once and Future #s 19-24
  153. Once and Future #s 25-26
  154. The Amazing Spider-Men (2022) #34
  155. Uncanny Avengers (2023) #2
  156. Captain America (2023) #1
  157. Alpha Flight (2023) #2
  158. Guardians of the Galaxy (2023) #6
  159. Wolverine (2020) #37
  160. Uncanny Spider-Man #1
  161. Once and Future #s 27-30
  162. Asterios Polyp OGN
  163. The Song of the Machine OGN
  164. Detective Comics (2016) #s 1073-1076
  165. Secret Wars (2015) #s 0, 1-3
  166. Gold Goblin #s 1-5
  167. Namor: Conquered Shores #s 1-5
  168. New Gods (1971) #s 1-5
  169. New Gods (1971) #s 6-11
  170. New Gods (1984) #6 (New material only)
  171. Super Powers (1984) #1-5
  172. The Hunger Dogs OGN
  173. Super Powers (1985) #1
  174. New Gods Secret Files #1
  175. Kirby 100: Darkseid Special #1
  176. Kirby 100: The New Gods Special #1
  177. Kirby 100: Manhunter Special #1
  178. Kirby 100: The Black Racer and Shilo Norman Special #1
  179. The Kamandi Challenge #s 1-6
  180. The Kamandi Challenge #s 7-12
  181. First Issue Special #13
  182. New Gods (1971) #s 12-13
  183. New Gods (1971) #s 14-19
  184. Adventure Comics #459-460 (New Gods stories only)
  185. Super-Team Family #15
  186. DC Special Series #10
  187. Justice League of America (1960) #183

Ignore Those Fading Sleigh Bells

Every year, it surprises me how quickly the holidays end. It’s an American thing, really; the idea that you do New Year’s Day and then, bam, you’re back to work immediately afterwards. I grew up in a country where we had the good manners and laziness to agree that you need at least a day after that to get used to the idea of getting back to normal, and preferably even more time if the New Year falls anywhere close to a weekend. “The holidays” when I was a wee kid were a two week period surrounding Christmas and New Year, and that’s just stuck in my brain as the accepted period ever since. Of course it’s two weeks: one for each of the holidays. Obviously.

It was, I think, my… first US holiday season that I realized things worked differently here. Either the first or second year after I got married, I remember we spent Christmas with her family and New Year back at home. I was back in the office on January 2, and I thought it was an unusual thing, something I commented on to other people in the office: can you believe that we have to work on the second day of the year I asked, and every single person said, “Yes, I can, that’s what we do here, what is wrong with you?” or some variation.

It was maybe the year after that when I had to work the day after Christmas and that just felt wrong on a molecular level. That’s still a holiday! It’s Boxing Day! It’s a thing, I believed (and still believe). Again, the rest of the United States didn’t share my outrage.

Maybe this is best; maybe it’s good that we move on so quickly, and don’t dwell on the fact that we’re still in the official 12 Days of Christmas. (They last until January 4, because they start on Christmas Eve, in case you didn’t know.) It’s a new year, after all, and a new beginning for those who like to think that way. Let the holidays fade into the background quickly while we all turn our attentions to what’s next. Well, except for those of us who’re grumbling about the fact that we’ve not even taken the tree down yet and what the fuck.

All Along

I had a plan, at the very very start of this year, that this would be a year when I’d start drawing again. It was very much a “plan” that I liked in theory more than practice, given that it lasted just one day before I abandoned it — I meant well, what can I say? — but it was something born of a real desire to do something creative for myself throughout the year.

This is, of course, also the year when this website kept failing, for reasons that were technical and beyond my understanding, never. Ind my control; as a result, the site was down for a few weeks a couple of times, and then the entire month of October. That last one was the one that really mattered to me, because it was the one that lasted and the one where I stopped writing here for an appreciable amount of time… and when I realized that this was the “something creative for myself” all along.

I’ve been thinking about my history with writing over the past few months; the loose-leaf sheets when I was a student that were versions of what I’d do here decades later, the zines I made when I was doing my Master’s degree, the reports and newsletters I wrote for various jobs and purposes in the years after that. I’ve been writing pretty continuously for more than a quarter century at this point, shifting (while in art school, ironically) from visual communication to written and training my brain to get better at that even when I didn’t realize that’s what I was doing at the time. Writing is my process now. It’s what I do.

With that in mind, I thought that perhaps my 2024 plan should be to get a notebook for writing in. That doesn’t feel right, though; now, if I’m writing for myself, I want to do it here. When I didn’t have that option for a month, I felt the loss. Now that everything is back to normal, I want to take advantage as best I can… at least until my next personal retrospective changes my mind all over again, I guess.

…I really should draw more, nonetheless.

Holiday Mood

When I was a kid and thought that I wanted to work in comics — basically, my entire teenage years, if I’m honest — I found myself utterly fascinated with the idea of newspaper comics. I’m not entirely sure why that was the case; there really wasn’t much of a tradition of newspaper strips in the UK by the time I was a teenager, beyond the obvious American imports, but over and over, I imagined scenarios where I’d be responsible for writing and drawing a newspaper strip on a regular basis. (To the point where I almost submitted a package to my local paper, surreally; the ego I must have had to even consider that!)

I mention this because one of my fascinations with the newspaper comic idea was a very particular part of that: the Christmas supplement. Again, looking back, I have no idea where this came from, as I’m not sure it was a thing at the time I was growing up, but I was obsessed with the possibility of a pull-out section where I’d have multiple pages to just play with for the holidays and do whatever I wanted with, for an audience, as long as it was appropriately festive.

Cut to my third year in art school. By this point, I’d been doing something akin to newspaper comics for the student newspaper for a year or so with my then-best friend, Andy Barnett; we’d kind of fallen into it and been successful with it, much to our surprise. By the holiday season of that third year, though, we’d fallen out of favor with the new editor of the paper, and had resigned ourselves to maybe focusing on our studies instead.

And then, we found out that the editor had quit, and that the old editor was panicking to try and get the holiday issue out in time. A call came in: could Andy and I possibly fill up, say, eight issues of the issue by ourselves? We were on the way out, obviously, but if we could hit this deadline, it would really help everyone out…

I knew immediately what we needed to do, and thankfully Andy agreed. And that was how, in my early 20s, I got to fulfill a teenage dream I’d long since forgotten: a Christmas supplement of our own to play with. Think of it as a Christmas miracle with admittedly low stakes, but a miracle nonetheless. ‘Tis the season.

This Was

Awhile back, I watched This England, a dramatization of the UK government’s response to the earliest days of COVID. It was a big deal when it aired in the UK last year, in part because no-one could seem to agree on whether or not it was too kind to those in power; the left-wing press thought it was too soft, the right-wing press that it was very fair. So it goes.

For my money, I think accusations of it being too soft were off-base, just as the “very fair” belief betrays biases in another direction. It’s clear that the government were unprepared and incompetent, and that Boris Johnson himself unable to connect with the gravity of the situation even before it was clear how deadly the virus really was.

A bigger problem for the show, though, was how uncomfortably shallow it proved to be, and unable to properly communicate the scope of what was happening. On the one hand, that’s to be expected given how impossibly overwhelming everything was — how can any show sum that up? — but the methods the show attempts feel trivial and tacky: overlapping audio from newscasters offering exposition, while a graphic ticks up the number of cases in big red letters.

More than anything, it reminds me of Years and Years, the Russell T. Davies show that kept jumping ahead in time as things got progressively worse. It’s a weird parallel, because that show — made in 2019, before all of this happened — was something I thought of repeatedly throughout 2020 and 2021, as if it had been soothsaying rather than entertainment.

This England’s inability to live up to reality transformed art into life into art again, in the broadest terms. In its own way, the journey might be the most interesting thing about it.

Sacrifice of the Traveling Pants

I’m not the best at packing for a trip, and that was especially true for the UK trip; at three weeks — well, just under — it was the longest trip I’d taken since, maybe, I was traveling to the States for months at a time before I moved here more than 20 years ago. I was out of practice, clearly, and I basically threw a bunch of stuff in the suitcase and hoped for the best.

What this meant in practice was that I ended up realizing halfway through the trip that I’d never noticed the number of holes in my jeans. And really, it was the holes in the crotch that were the problem; it’s not that I was wearing assless chaps, per se, but I was closer than anyone who’d feel comfortable with. They were so bad, in fact, that as soon as I realized their state, I decided to get rid of them. Why bring trash with me, after all?

The thing is, that wasn’t how it felt when I left the jeans behind. Perhaps it was the state of mind I was in at the time — tired, lonely, homesick — or maybe something else, but I remember very clearly the sense of sacrifice. Not in the way of, “I’m sacrificing something by leaving these behind,” but the idea of the jeans being a sacrifice to some unknown force that the rest of the trip would go quickly, and well, and that I’d be home again before too long.

I’m tempted to say it worked, but who can say? For all we know, the rest would have gone entirely the same had I carried the holey jeans with me. I prefer to think that wouldn’t have been the case, though; I like to believe in a world where magic like this exists, and it’s as simple as giving up a pair of jeans for the greater good. Magic that everyone can do.