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He Leaves An Awful Hole, Doesn’t He?

Wandering through my hometown for the first time in more than a decade was an emotional, disorienting experience. I found myself surprised by just how beautiful it was, and in ways that I’d either taken for granted or else never even noticed when I lived there: how open the skies felt (smaller buildings, for the most part), how close I was to the river and the beautiful mountains just across the water. This was all background noise when I was growing up, of course, but after decades of city living — and I love living in cities, I should add — I found myself surprised and touched by what I was seeing.

Similarly, I got genuinely emotional seeing the house I grew up in again; I’d prepared for this back in April but didn’t manage to make it on that trip, so I’m not quite sure I expected the actual, audible gasp that I made on seeing the house again, and the flood of feelings and memories and thoughts that came with it. (They’d painted the storm door! It’s white now, as opposed to black, which just felt odd. And there’s a side stairwell because the one house has been split into two apartments, but otherwise… it’s where I spent almost 20 years of my life. It held power, and I wasn’t ready, really.)

Perhaps the strangest thing, though, was going downtown again. Downtown Greenock was never a happening spot for hepcats, but I had my internal geography based on particular memories, particular locations… and they’re almost entirely gone now. That’s probably to be expected, given that it was almost 20 years between visits… but at the same time, they’re gone and replaced by vape shops, or a multitude of To Let signs. There was a block where every second storefront was a bookmakers (that’s a betting shop, not somewhere that makes books, for those who don’t know); what I knew as a bank had been replaced by a funeral services planner. It all reminded me of something, but I couldn’t put my finger on what until I saw what had been a big grocery store when I was a teenager had become a food bank that it struck me: it was as if Bedford Falls had become Pottersville. Clarence, what am I supposed to do…?

I had walked into town in a sad, lonely melancholy mood — this was Day 11 of the trip, after all, and even though I was visiting family, I missed my family back home, and I missed home, too — but there was something about this dérive that recharged me and made me feel more grounded both in where I’d come from, but also where I am these days in life, too. I couldn’t even begin to explain why, but it was true, and I was grateful for it.

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It’s Your Right, Come On And

One of the things that really became apparent during my New York trip midway through October was how little time I had to myself on a convention trip these days. When I think of New York Comic Con, I tend to think of two things: firstly, going with Chloe, which didn’t happen this time because she was recovering from a migraine that knocked her out for more than a week. Secondly, and more importantly for the purpose of this post: having the time to go wander ’round the city after each day, before heading back to the hotel to file a story or maybe two.

Really, I think back to the days when I’d be covering the show for THR, and I got to decide what was and wasn’t a good story. Sure, I’d check in with Aaron back in LA, and he’d let me know if there was something he really wanted that might not have been on my radar, but otherwise, I’d be there under my own auspices and would have the brain space that came with that afterwards.

That wasn’t the case this year, where circumstances combined to give me more than enough to think about, and more than enough to keep me busy to the point where I only truly existed in two places during the trip: the convention center, and my hotel room, where I was either writing or failing to sleep. It was a rough trip, and I felt particularly burned out when it was over.

Just over a week later, I was in London for another show, and I had pretty much the same experience for the three days of that convention, too; it’s not that I had too much to do, per se, as much as I had just enough to do that meant that I was pretty constantly working for the entire time I was awake, even if said work was occasionally monitoring livestreams or having meetings. My brain was pretty consistently “on,” which paired with jetlag to leave me pretty intellectually and emotionally wiped out by the time the show finished. When I think back to the show — which just happened last week! — I pretty much can’t remember chunks of it because I was just reacting to whatever needed to be done at that particular moment. The show happened to me, if that makes sense.

(To a lesser extent, I think I’d say the same about the New York show.)

I’m saying this not to be all, “woe is me”; I actually love my job, even when I don’t necessarily like my job. (It is, after all, a job.) I’m aware of the opportunities I’m provided, and grateful for them, even as I can be aware of the ways in which I need to do better — and those in charge need to do better — to avoid burnout and overwhelming myself with everything. I’m saying all of this to lay the context for the image at the top of this post.

It’s nothing special, of course. It’s a picture I took while going for an aimless walk on the morning I left London, when I found myself with a couple of hours and, for the first time in… maybe a week and a half(?) , had nothing to do. I went for a short walk, with no intent other than to enjoy the calm and some fresh air. I had no agenda, and it was relatively sunny, and I felt… free. I did the same thing the morning after I arrived in Scotland, a handful of days later: just walked, with no agenda, to see what happened.

I need to make more time like that for myself in the future. Trips are better when I feel part of where I am, beyond simply seeing a convention center and a hotel room.

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The Comics of October 2023

As is always the case, my comic book reading was impacted by comic book conventions in October — for whatever reason, I become so busy that my brain simply can’t handle the idea of reading anything that I don’t absolutely have to. With two different con trips in October that took up a couple of weeks between them, I’m honestly surprised I read as much as I did…

  1. Catwoman (2018) #58
  2. Batman/Superman: World’s Finest #20
  3. Superman (2023) #7
  4. Wonder Woman (2023) #2
  5. Green Lantern: War Journal #2
  6. Titans (2023) #4
  7. Jay Garrick, The Flash #1
  8. Something is Killing the Children #s 11-15
  9. Captain Atom (1986) #s 1-2
  10. The Amazing Spider-Man (2022) #28
  11. She-Hulk (2022) #14
  12. Avengers Beyond #4
  13. Predator (2023) #4
  14. Warlock: Rebirth #3
  15. Captain Carter #s 1-5
  16. Captain Atom (1986) #s 3-5
  17. Captain Atom (1986) #6
  18. Captain Atom (1986) #7-12
  19. Something is Killing the Children #s 16-20
  20. Fantastic Four (2018) #40
  21. Fantastic Four (2018) #s 41-45
  22. Incoming #1
  23. DC’s Ghouls Just Wanna Have Fun #1
  24. Smash! #1
  25. Empyre: Avengers #0
  26. Empyre: Fantastic Four #0
  27. Empyre #s 1-6
  28. Empyre Aftermath: Avengers #1
  29. Empyre Fallout: Fantastic Four #1
  30. Free Comic Book Day 2022: Avengers/X-Men #1
  31. A.X.E. Judgment Day #s 1-2
  32. Best of Tharg’s Terror Tales
  33. The OMAC Project #s 1-6
  34. The OMAC Project Infinite Crisis Special #1
  35. Detective Comics (1937) #s 742-756 (Start of the Greg Rucka run)
  36. Detective Comics (1937) #s 757-766
  37. Batman: The 10 Cent Adventure
  38. Batgirl (2000) #24
  39. X-Men: Before the Fall – The Sinister Four #1
  40. Doctor Strange (2023) #5
  41. Action Comics #1058
  42. Alan Scott, The Green Lantern #1
  43. X-Men (2021) #24
  44. Batman/Catwoman: The Gotham War – Red Hood #2
  45. Amazons Attack (2023) #1
  46. Green Arrow (2023) #5
  47. The Flash (2023) #2
  48. The Penguin (2023) #3
  49. Tales of the Titans #4
  50. Unstoppable Doom Patrol #50
  51. Daredevil (2022) #12
  52. Nightwing (1996) #s 65-66
  53. Batman: Gotham Knights #s 25-26
  54. Birds of Prey (1998) #s 39-40
  55. Robin (1993) #s 98-99
  56. Batman (1940) #599
  57. Detective Comics (1937) #767
  58. Batman (1940) #s 600-601
  59. Detective Comics (1937) #768-770
  60. Birds of Prey (1998) #41
  61. Best of 2000 AD Vol. 4 TPB
  62. Batgirl (2000) #s 27, 29
  63. Nightwing (1996) #s 68-69
  64. Batman: Gotham Knights #s 28-31
  65. Birds of Prey (1998) #43
  66. Batman (1940) #s 603-605
  67. Detective Comics (1937) #s 771-772
  68. Azrael: Agent of the Bat #91
  69. Detective Comics (1937) #s 773-775 (End of Greg Rucka run)
  70. Action Comics (2016) #s 987-992
  71. Duke NYCC Ashcan
  72. What If…? (1989) #s 1-13
  73. Batman (1940) #s 635-636
  74. Batman (1940) #s 637-650
  75. Batman Annual #25
  76. X-Force (2019) #42
  77. Immortal X-Men #13
  78. The Amazing Spider-Man (2022) #29
  79. Scarlet Witch (2023) #6
  80. Warlock: Rebirth #4
  81. X-Men: Days of Future Past – Doomsday #1
  82. Nightwing (2016) #107
  83. Action Comics #s 1047-1050
  84. Superman: Son of Kal-El #s 16-18
  85. Superman: Kal-El Returns #1
  86. Elvira’s House of Mystery #1
  87. Batman/Catwoman: The Gotham War – Scorched Earth #1
  88. The Return of Superman 30th Anniversary Special #1
  89. Batman (2016) #139
  90. Shazam! (2023) #5
  91. Supergirl Special (2023) #1
  92. What If…? (1989) #s 14-20
  93. Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom Special #1
  94. Birds of Prey (2023) #3
  95. Fire & Ice: Welcome to Smallville #3
  96. The Joker: The Man Who Stopped Laughing #s 10-12
  97. Batman: Three Jokers #3
  98. Icon vs Hardware #s 4-5
  99. Judgment Day: Aftermath
  100. What If…? (1989) #s 21-23
  101. Outsiders (2023) #1
  102. What If…? (1989) #s 24-27
  103. Alan Scott, the Green Lantern #2
  104. Frank Miller’s RoboCop #s 1-9
  105. Kings Watch #s 1-5
  106. Flash Gordon (2014) #1
  107. Flash Gordon (2014) #s 2-8
  108. Flash Gordon Annual 2014
  109. King: Flash Gordon #s 1-4
  110. Helium Book One (2000 AD strip)
  111. King: Jungle Jim #s 1-4
  112. Fallen Friend: The Death of Ms. Marvel #1
  113. It’s Jeff! #25
  114. Extreme Venomverse #5
  115. X-Men Red (2022) #13
  116. King: Mandrake the Magician #s 1-4
  117. King: Prince Valiant #s 1-4
  118. King: The Phantom #s 1-4
  119. Kings Quest #s 1-5
  120. The Bogie Man #1
  121. Flash Gordon: Kings Cross #s 1-4
  122. Black Panther (2021) #s 1-15
  123. Black Panther (2023) #s 1-2
  124. Danger Street #11
  125. WildC.A.T.S (2022) #12
  126. Green Lantern (2023) #5
  127. Batman and Robin (2023) #3
  128. Speed Force (2023) #1
  129. Wonder Woman (2023) #3
  130. Batman: Off-World #1
  131. Marvel 75th Anniversary Special #1
  132. Wolverine (2020) #35
  133. The Amazing Spider-Man (2022) #30
  134. Chosen #s 1-3
  135. American Jesus: The New Messiah #s 1-3
  136. American Jesus: Revelation #s 1-3
  137. The Incredible Hulk (2023) #2
  138. The Avengers (2023) #3
  139. The Invincible Iron Man (2022) #8
  140. All-Hallows Eve #5
  141. Hellcat (2023) #5
  142. Ultimate Invasion #2
  143. She-Hulk (2022) #15
  144. The Wicked + The Divine #s 1-6
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Gone Back Through That Door

Like Billy Pilgrim, I am unstuck in time again.

As I write this, I’m lying in a bed in an AirBnB in Scotland, and it’s 10:56pm; I’m also just off the phone with Chloe who’s on the East Coast of the US, and it’s four hours earlier for her — until the clocks go back in the US this weekend (as I write), the usual time differences are lessened by an hour — and also thinking about everyone else back home, who is three hours in the past from that. At the same time, I feel curiously divorced from the place where I actually am; I had a sudden moment of realization that I am in the same time period as my sisters, which I know is clearly true because I spent the evening with them, and yet, almost feels impossible because it’s so rare. In a very genuine sense, I’m not sure what time it is.

A lot of this comes from the fact that this UK trip has been near-constant motion for me so far, something underscored by the fact that, this morning, I wasn’t just in another city, I was technically in another country — England, vs. Scotland — and it took me a coach (that broke down, and had to be replaced), a flight, and then an additional car ride to get where I currently am. I started my journey at 7am (having woken up at 4am, thanks to an errant text from my US healthcare provider), and didn’t arrive anywhere for the next eight hours, somehow. That’s what every day has felt like for the last… nine days? Maybe before that, even, before I even left Portland…?

It’s Friday night as I’m writing this, and I’m grateful for the fact that I don’t have to work and/or go anywhere for the next few days; I’m not working or traveling until Tuesday, so aside from day trips to Glasgow and spending time with family, I have no plans. That last part, the not having to be anywhere part, feels necessary to a degree which feels almost melodramatic to confess; as workaholic as I am, I had to tell my manager this week that I was overloaded and overstressed, and burned out as a result. I didn’t mean it in any sense that required him to do anything, but it felt important to just say it and leave the truth out there. This trip has been filled with many good, fun things; it’s also just been filled, and it’s time to take a break before I break.

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The Comics of September 2023

What was I reading back in September? It feels like a long time ago as I write this, but the answer appears to be “I read Operation: Galactic Storm for some reason.” For those who don’t know, Operation: Galactic Storm is a Marvel crossover from the 1990s that saw all of the Avengers characters go to war in space for reasons that didn’t make any sense, based on the seeming idea that naming something after the real-life Operation: Desert Storm was anything other than a tacky idea. I’d never actually read the storyline, but thankfully Marvel Unlimited exists, and… well, honestly, it’s as bad as it sounds. But somehow, still not the worst thing I read that month. See for yourself!

  1. MPH #s 1-6
  2. Doctor Strange (1974) #s 48-49
  3. Batman: Gargoyle of Gotham #1
  4. Hershey: Disease TPB
  5. Hershey: The Cold in the Bones Parts One and Two
  6. Lawless: Ballots Over Babylon
  7. Lawless: Most Wanted eps 1-4
  8. The Out: Book One 
  9. The Out: Book Two
  10. Alpha Flight (1983) #s 28-32, 35-38
  11. Alpha Flight (1983) #s 39-44
  12. Silver Age 80-Page Giant #1
  13. Captain Glory #1
  14. The Saga of Crystar, Crystal Warrior #1
  15. Doctor Strange (2023) #3
  16. The Punisher (2022) #12
  17. Doctor Strange (1974) #s 50-54
  18. The Out: Book Three
  19. Secret City Saga #s 0, 1-2
  20. Daredevil (1964) #s 292-296 (Start of Chichester run)
  21. Daredevil (1964) #s 297-300
  22. Daredevil (1964) #s 301-314
  23. Superman Adventures #s 1-3
  24. Adventures of Superman (2013) #s 1-6
  25. Superman/Batman #s 79-80 (Chris Roberson DC One Million two-parter)
  26. Daredevil (1964) #s 315-318
  27. Daredevil (1964) #s 319-322
  28. Superman Adventures #s 4-6
  29. Daredevil (1964) #s 323-325
  30. Green Arrow (2023) #4
  31. The Flash (2023) #1
  32. Action Comics #1057
  33. The Penguin #2
  34. Tales of the Titans #3
  35. Superman: The Order of the Black Lamp (Batman: The Brave and the Bold strip)
  36. Harcourt: Second Life eps. 1-2  (Batman: The Brave and the Bold strip)
  37. Stormwatch: Down with the Kings eps. 1-5  (Batman: The Brave and the Bold strip)
  38. Art Brut #s 1-4
  39. Alpha Flight (1983) #s 45-50
  40. Alpha Flight Annual (1986) #s 1-2
  41. Superman Adventures #s 7-13
  42. Scarlet Witch (2015) #s 1-15
  43. Wolverine (1988) #s 69-75
  44. Power Girl (2023) #1
  45. Power Girl strips from Lazarus Planet: Assault on Krypton and Action Comics #s 1051-1053
  46. Power Girl Special (2023) #1
  47. Daredevil (2022) #12
  48. Spider-Man (2022) #9
  49. Immortal X-Men (2022) #12
  50. X-Men (2021) #23
  51. Fantastic Four (2022) #8
  52. The Invincible Iron Man (2022) #7
  53. X-Men: Before The Fall – Mutant First Strike #1
  54. Wag #1
  55. Batman, Incorporated (2022) #s 8-12
  56. The Green Lantern Corps #s 202-203
  57. Superman Adventures Annual #1
  58. Superman Adventures #s 14-16
  59. Sensational She-Hulk (1989) #s 18-24
  60. Superman Adventures #s 17-21
  61. Birds of Prey (2023) #2
  62. Batman (2016) #138
  63. Shazam! (2023) #4
  64. Fire & Ice: Welcome to Smallville #2
  65. Green Lantern: Legacy OGN
  66. Green Lantern: Alliance OGN
  67. Waller vs. Wildstorm #s 1-3
  68. Avengers, Inc. #1
  69. Blue Beetle (2006) #1
  70. Ant-Man (2022) #s 1-4
  71. Wasp (2023) #s 1-4
  72. Avengers: Ultron Forever #1
  73. New Avengers: Ultron Forever #1
  74. Uncanny Avengers: Ultron Forever #1
  75. Avengers Assemble (2012) #15
  76. Captain Britain and the Mighty Defenders #s 1-2
  77. Avengers Assemble (2012) #20
  78. Avengers (2012) #34.1
  79. Contest of Champions (2015) #s 1-6
  80. Rorschach (2020) #s 1-3
  81. Secret Warps: Soldier Supreme Annual #1
  82. Secret Warps: Weapon Hex Annual #1
  83. Secret Warps: Ghost Panther Annual #1
  84. Secret Warps: Arachknight Annual #1
  85. Secret Warps: Iron Hammer Annual #1
  86. Doctor Strange (2023) #4
  87. Moon Knight (2021) #24
  88. Contest of Champions (2015) #s 7-10
  89. Wolverine (2020) #34
  90. The Amazing Spider-Man (2022) #27
  91. X-Men Red (2022) #s 10-12
  92. Batman/Catwoman: The Gotham War Prelude (Batman Day Edition) #1
  93. New Avengers (2015) #s 1-18
  94. U.S.Avengers #s 1-12
  95. Superman/Batman: World’s Finest #1
  96. The Terrifics #s 1-14
  97. The Silencer #1
  98. Justice League of America (2017) #s 22-24 (Promethea appearance)
  99. Incredible Hulk Annual (1976) #11
  100. Inhumans Prime #1
  101. Royals #1
  102. 2000 AD Prog 2351
  103. Danger Street #10
  104. Batman & Robin (2023) #2
  105. World’s Finest: Teen Titans #4
  106. Green Lantern (2023) #4
  107. Wesley Dodds, The Sandman #1
  108. Peacemaker Tries Hard! #6
  109. 1st Issue Special #12 (Starman)
  110. Manhunter (1994) #0
  111. Royals #2
  112. Royals #s 3-8
  113. Manhunter (2004) #s 1-4
  114. Royals #s 9-12
  115. Inhumans: Judgment Day #1
  116. Captain America (1968) #398 (Operation Galactic Storm)
  117. Avengers West Coast #80 (Operation Galactic Storm)
  118. Quasar #32 (Operation Galactic Storm)
  119. Wonder Man (1991) #7 (Operation Galactic Storm)
  120. Avengers (1963) #345 (Operation Galactic Storm)
  121. Iron Man (1968) #278 (Operation Galactic Storm)
  122. Thor (1966) #445 (Operation Galactic Storm)
  123. Before Watchmen: Minutemen #s 1-6
  124. Captain America (1968) #399 (Operation Galactic Storm)
  125. Avengers West Coast #81 (Operation Galactic Storm)
  126. Quasar #33 (Operation Galactic Storm)
  127. Wonder Man (1991) #8 (Operation Galactic Storm)
  128. Avengers (1963) #346 (Operation Galactic Storm)
  129. Iron Man (1968) #279 (Operation Galactic Storm)
  130. Thor (1966) #446 (Operation Galactic Storm)
  131. Captain America (1968) #400 (Operation Galactic Storm)
  132. Avengers West Coast #82 (Operation Galactic Storm)
  133. Quasar #34 (Operation Galactic Storm)
  134. Wonder Man (1991) #9 (Operation Galactic Storm)
  135. Avengers (1963) #346 (Operation Galactic Storm)
  136. Avengers (2023) #2
  137. Hellcat (2023) #4
  138. Manhunter (2004) #s 5-7
  139. X-Force (2019) #41
  140. Manhunter (2004) #8-14
  141. Terra #s 1-4
  142. Saga #66
  143. Superman (1987) #s 186-187
  144. Adventures of Superman (1987) #s 608-609
  145. Superman: The Man of Steel #s 130-131
  146. Action Comics (1938) #s 795-796
  147. Void Rivals #4
  148. Fantastic Four (2018) #39
  149. Fantastic Four: Reckoning War #1
  150. X-Factor (1986) #43-44
  151. Superman (1987) #s 220-221
  152. Adventures of Superman #s 642-643
  153. Action Comics (1938) #829
  154. Wonder Woman (1987) #s 219-220
  155. Adam Strange (2004) #s 1-8
  156. Parasocial OGN
  157. Oblivion Song #s 1-6
  158. 2000 AD Prog 2350 (Battle Action crossover issue)
  159. The Rann/Thanagar War #s 1-6
  160. The Rann/Thanagar War: Infinite Crisis Special #1
  161. Proctor Valley Road #1
  162. Treasury of British Comics Annual 2024
  163. Counterfeit Girl TPB (2000 AD collection)
  164. Proctor Valley Road #2
  165. I Hate This Place #1
  166. Something is Killing the Children #s 6-10
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And We’re Back

Yes, the site was down again, and this time for an extended period: a whole month. (Well, just over, as it happened.) I noticed it was down almost immediately, but fixing it kept falling down a list of priorities that had far more important things on it: in the last few weeks, Chloe’s been sick, I’ve been traveling for work a lot — first to New York for a week for NYCC, and I’m currently in the UK for two different conventions and seeing my family once again — and, in between the two trips, sickness and vacations for other people meant that I was running the site at work essentially solo for an entire week, and and and. Things kept happening; fixing the site was something I wanted to do, but didn’t have time at that very moment, no matter when that very moment turned out to be.

The site being down also helped me deal with the fact that, because so much was happening, I probably would’ve struggled to keep up with it even if I’d been able to; on the New York trip — and the start of the UK trip, which was another 3 day convention for work — my days pretty much consisted of getting up, getting ready, and working straight through until dinner, then some more work, then collapsing into bed, with little or no time for reflection or relaxation in between. When I was running the site from home the week in between, my traditional worktime expanded by an hour or so daily, and the idea of spending more time looking at a screen was not a particularly attractive one. So: letting things be quiet here for awhile felt like a plus.

Now, though, it’s back. I’m back, and I have some things to catch up with — two months of comics read, if nothing else! Technology willing, I’ll be here for the long run from now on. As much as I needed the enforced break, I think, I need this outlet all the more. So, hi.