Farage is the new one who looks like Fozzie Bear trying to sneak into Parliament by putting Kermit on his shoulders, poking out the top of a stolen suit.

Clegg – I’ve got a trick for remembering which one he is: I think of which one I can’t remember and that’s him.

Cameron is the one who was born to rule, but they keep having elections instead, which you can see gets right on his wick.

Sturgeon is the one who looks like an auntie who’s come to pick one of the others up.

Miliband reminds me of when I was in Aldi and found this squashy CBeebies thing on the floor that a baby had dropped. Everyone had trod its face to bits, but it still had this big smile, maybe because it knew somebody loved it.