The World That's Coming

In retrospect, it’s almost creepy that I spent the day after Gus left the last time feeling as if I was mourning him.

I shared custody of him with my ex-wife, and he’d spend anywhere between a month and six weeks to two months with me, and then the same with her, and it was this unusual but comfortable rhythm for everyone involved. We’d communicate about what was happening with him if anything unusual happened, but otherwise, it was just what we did: he’d be with me for awhile, and then he’d be gone for awhile. Except that, the last time he went away, I found myself weighed down by his absence to a degree that just felt more heavy, more inescapable, than ever before.

I couldn’t explain it at the time, but I was very upset by it; I even said to a couple of people that it felt as if I was getting a preview of what it was going to be like when he was dead, because I was just so aware that he wasn’t there. It felt as if his ghost was haunting me, but even saying that now feels melodramatic; saying it at a time when he was still alive felt even more so.

There was nothing happening at the time that should have left me thinking about his mortality other than his age; he didn’t seem sick in the slightest, and was in fact still running around and jumping up for attention and through excitement when he was with me the last time I saw him. Nonetheless, the day after he left, it felt like he was dead and I was saying goodbye. Little did I know that, a couple weeks later, I’d get a text that he was suddenly sick in a way that felt bad, or that two weeks later again, he’d be gone.

Rest in Peace, Gus.

As if I wasn’t going to be heartbroken enough when he died, he passed when I was out of town on a work trip — something I knew was a possibility, and had been in utter fear of, for some time. His health really started declining about two weeks ago, and even though he’d rallied a little since then, his age and the fact that he really started to get worse pretty much the second day of my five-day trip meant that I couldn’t disagree with the suggestion was made that the kindest thing to do was to say goodbye to him. I just wish, with all my heart, that I’d gotten to actually say goodbye to him in person. I loved him so, so fucking much.

While I didn’t quite keep to my idea of paring back my comic reading to simply things that are good, I did restructure my reading somewhat in January and focus in on slower, more intentional re-reads of some beloved material: Lee and Kirby’s Fantastic Four, Morrison and Porter’s JLA (and then more Morrison after that), Claremont’s mid-era Uncanny X-Men, and more. Keeping myself limited to an issue or maybe two a day has meant that I’ve appreciated the material more, and slowed down the reading experience in such a way that I’ve found particularly rewarding. (Of course, some other things I’ve still been rushing through in unusual haste…)

1. Deprog #s 1-4
2. The Magic Order #s 1-6
3. The Magic Order 2 #s 1-6
4. The Magic Order 3 #s 1-6
5. Star Wars: Darth Vader (2020) #s 26-32
6. The Witching Hour (1999) #s 1-3
7. Black Canary: Best of the Best #3
8. Superman (2023) #22
9. DC’s Lex and the City #1
10. Martian Manhunter (2015) #s 9-12
11. JLA (1996) #16
12. Teen Titans (2003) #s 70-72
13. JSA Classified #s 5-7
14. Martian Manhunter (1998) #1
15. Fantastic Four (1961) #6
16. Cable: Love & Chrome #1
17. Daredevil (2023) #17
18. Deadpool/Wolverine (2025) #1
19. Rom Spaceknight (1979) #s 51-52
20. JLA (1996) #17
21. Fantastic Four (1961) #7
22. Detective Comics (1937) #1093
23. It’s Jeff! Infinity Comic #42
24. Marvel Team-Up Annual (1976) #2
25. Marvel Team-Up (1972) #s 87-89
26. Bizarre Adventures (1981) #27
27. Nightcrawler (1985) #s 1-4
28. Uncanny X-Men (1963) #s 187-188
29. The Mighty Avengers (1963) #s 244-245
30. JLA Classified #s 1-3 
31. Taste of Justice Holiday Preview #1
32. Tales of the Unexpected (2006) #s 1-6 (Dr. Thirteen stories only)
33. 2000 AD Prog 2415
34. JLA (1996) #s 22-23
35. DC One Million #1
36. Fantastic Four (1961) #8
37. Tales of the Unexpected (2006) #s 7-8 (Dr. Thirteen stories only)
38. Action Comics #1,000,000
39. Batman: Shadow of the Bat #1,000,000
40. Uncanny X-Men (1963) #s 189-192
41. Star Trek: Defiant #s 12-16
42. DC Horror Presents… #s 1-3
43. Geiger (2024) #s 1-3
44. Redcoat #1
45. The Rocketfellers #1
46. DC One Million #2
47. JLA #1,000,000
48. DC One Million #s 3-4
49. Legion of Super-Heroes #1,000,000
50. DC One Million 80-Page Giant #1,000,000
51. Fantastic Four (1961) #9
52. Uncanny X-Men (1963) #193
53. Fantastic Four (1961) #10
54. Uncanny X-Men (1963) #194
55. Teen Titans (2003) #s 73-75
56. JLA (1996) #24
57. The Amazing Spider-Man (2022) #65
58. Uncanny X-Men (2024) #8
59. Rom Spaceknight (1979) #53
60. The Incredible Hulk #296
61. Fantastic Four (1961) #11
62. All-New Venom #2
63. Sam Wilson, Captain America (2025) #1
64. The Ultimates (2024) #8
65. X-Factor (2024) #6
66. Legionnaires (1993) #44
67. Superman: Lex Luthor Special #1
68. Green Lantern (2023) #19
69. JLA (1996) #25
70. Rom Spaceknight (1979) #s 54-55
71. JLA (1996) #26
72. Legion of Super-Heroes (1989) #88
73. Fantastic Four (1961) #12
74. Journey Into Mystery (1952) #s 83-85
75. Marvel Rivals Infinity Comic #4
76. Journey Into Mystery (1952) #86
77. JLA (1996) #27
78. Fantastic Four (1961) #13
79. Journey Into Mystery (1952) #s 87-88
80. Legionnaires (1993) #s 45-46
81. Legion of Super-Heroes (1989) #s 89-90
82. Superman Plus #1
83. Legionnaires (1993) #47
84. Legion of Super-Heroes (1989) #91
85. Journey Into Mystery (1952) #89
86. JLA (1996) #28
87. Journey Into Mystery (1952) #90
88. Fantastic Four (1961) #14
89. Uncanny X-Men (1963) #195
90. Avengers (1963) #227
91. Marvel Super-Heroes: Secret Wars (1984) #1
92. Legionnaires (1993) #s 48-50
93. Legion of Super-Heroes (1989) #s 92-94
94. Rom Spaceknight (1979) #56
95. G.I. Joe (2024) #3
96. JLA (1996) #s 29-30
97. 2000 AD Prog 2416
98. JLA (1996) #31
99. Fantastic Four (1961) #15
100. Journey Into Mystery (1952) #91
101. Uncanny X-Men (1963) #196
102. Legionnaires (1993) #s 51-52
103. Legion of Super-Heroes (1989) #s 95-96
104. Batman (2016) #157
105. JSA (2024) #4
106. Justice League: The Atom Project #2
107. Birds of Prey (2023) #18
108. Legionnaires (1993) #s 53-55
109. Legion of Super-Heroes (1989) #s 97-99
110. Action Comics (1938) #741
111. In Bloom #1
112. Star Wars: The Battle of Jakku – Last Stand #s 1-2
113. Wolverine (2024) #5
114. Rom Spaceknight (1979) #s 57-58
115. Legionnaires (1993) #56
116. Legion of Super-Heroes (1989) #100
117. Fantastic Four (1961) #16
118. Journey Into Mystery (1952) #s 92-93
119. Uncanny X-Men (1963) #197
120. Marvel Graphic Novel #4: The New Mutants (1982)
121. The New Mutants (1983) #s 1-2
122. Legionnaires (1993) #57
123. Legion of Super-Heroes (1989) #101
124. Fantastic Four (1961) #17
125. Uncanny X-Men (1963) #198
126. The New Mutants (1983) #3
127. Journey Into Mystery (1952) #94
128. My Greatest Adventure (1955) #80
129. Marvel Rivals Infinity Comic #6
130. Legion of Super-Heroes (1980) #281
131. Ultimate Wolverine (2025) #1
132. Exceptional X-Men #5
133. JLA (1996) #34
134. Fantastic Four (1961) #18
135. Journey Into Mystery (1952) #95
136. Uncanny X-Men (1963) #s 199-200
137. Astonishing Spider-Man Infinity Comic #12
138. Legion of Super-Heroes (1980) #282
139. Uncanny X-Men (1963) #201
140. Marvel Team-Up Annual (1976) #4
141. JLA (1996) #s 36-37
142. Fantastic Four (1961) #19
143. JLA (1996) #38
144. Journey Into Mystery (1952) #96
145. Uncanny X-Men (1963) #s 202-203
146. JLA (1996) #s 39-40
147. The Amazing Spider-Man (2022) #65.Death (Yes, that’s really the issue number.)
148. The Immortal Thor #19
149. Storm (2004) #4
150. JLA (1996) #41
151. Fantastic Four (1961) #20
152. Journey Into Mystery (1952) #97
153. Uncanny X-Men (1963) #204
154. JLA (1996) #42
155. JLA: Earth 2 OGN
156. Rom Spaceknight (1979) #s 59-60
157. Fantastic Four (1961) #21
158. Journey Into Mystery (1952) #98
159. Uncanny X-Men (1963) #205
160. JLA (1996) #s 94-96 (Byrne/Claremont/Ordway)
161. Astonishing Avengers Infinity Comic #1
162. Uncanny X-Men (1963) #s 206-209
163. Rom Annual (1982) #3
164. Fantastic Four (1961) #22
165. Journey Into Mystery (1952) #99
166. Sgt. Fury (1963) #1
167. Storm (2024) #3
168. Magik (2025) #1
169. JLA (1996) #97
170. Uncanny X-Men (1963) #210
171. Rom Spaceknight (1979) #s 61-62
172. The New Gods (2024) #s 1-2
173. New Gods (1971) #s 1-2
174. The Forever People (1971) #s 1-2
175. Rom Spaceknight (1979) #63
176. Fantastic Four (1961) #23
177. Uncanny X-Men (1963) #211
178. X-Factor (1986) #s 9-10
179. Journey Into Mystery (1952) #100
180. X-Men Annual (1970) #8
181. New Mutants Annual (1984) #2
182. Mister Miracle (1971) #1
183. The New Mutants (1983) #46
184. The Mighty Thor (1966) #373
185. Power Pack (1984) #27
186. Fantastic Four (1961) #24
187. The Mighty Thor (1966) #374
188. Uncanny X-Men (1963) #s 212-214
189. X-Factor (1986) #11
190. Daredevil (1964) #238
191. Journey Into Mystery (1952) #101
192. Marvel Rivals Infinity Comic #6
193. Alpha Flight (1983) #s 1-2
194. Rom Spaceknight (1979) #s 64-69
195. Fantastic Four (1961) #25
196. Journey Into Mystery (1952) #102
197. Uncanny X-Men (1963) #s 215-218
198. Fantastic Four vs. the X-Men #1
199. Uncanny X-Men (1963) #s 219-220
200. Mister Miracle (1971) #2
201. Rom Spaceknight (1979) #70
202. Fantastic Four (1961) #26
203. Rom Spaceknight (1979) #71
204. Journey Into Mystery (1952) #103
205. Astonishing Spider-Man Infinity Comic #13
206. Fantastic Four vs. the X-Men #s 2-4
207. The X-Men vs. the Avengers #s 1-4
208. Green Lantern Corps (2025) #1
209. DC Power: Rise of the Power Company #1
210. Uncanny X-Men (1963) #s 221-224
211. Judge Dredd: Trifecta
212. Ultimate Spider-Man (2024) #13
213. Rom Annual (1982) #4
214. Rom Spaceknight (1979) #72
215. Fantastic Four (2022) #28
216. Iron Man (2024) #4
217. Phoenix (2024) #7
218. Uncanny X-Men (2024) #9
219. Fantastic Four (1961) #27
220. Journey Into Mystery (1952) #104
221. Uncanny X-Men (1963) #s 225-227
222. Excalibur: The Sword is Drawn
223. Fantastic Four (1961) #28
224. Journey Into Mystery (1952) #105
225. Marvel Fanfare (1982) #s 1-4
226. Action Comics (1938) #1070-1081 (Supergirl stories only)
227. Uncanny X-Men (1963) #s 228-230
228. Supergirl Special (2023) #1
229. Supergirl: Woman of Tomorrow #1
230. Rom Spaceknight (1979) #73
231. Fantastic Four (1961) #29
232. Journey Into Mystery (1952) #106
233. Jenny Sparks #7
234. Batman & Robin: Year One #5
235. The New Gods (2024) #3
236. Challengers of the Unknown (2024) #3
237. The Question: All Along The Watchtower #4
238. The New Mutants (1983) #s 32-35
239. Uncanny X-Men (1963) #s 231-234
240. The New Mutants (1983) #s 36-40
241. Judge Dredd: Titan
242. Judge Dredd: The Small House
243. Judge Dredd: Control
244. Rom Spaceknight (1979) #s 74-75 (The end!)
245. Fantastic Four (1961) #30
246. Journey Into Mystery (1952) #107
247. The New Mutants (1983) #s 41-42
248. Uncanny X-Men (1963) #s 235-238
249. Wolverine (1988) #1
250. Fantastic Four (1961) #31
251. Journey Into Mystery (1952) #108
252. The New Mutants (1983) #43
253. Marvel Super-Heroes #s 377-388 (Captain Britain stories only)
254. The Daredevils #s 1-11 (Captain Britain stories only)
255. Astonishing X-Men Infinity Comic #s 6-8
256. Excalibur (1988) #s 1-2
257. Wolverine (1988) #2
258. Speedball (1988) #1
259. Uncanny X-Men (1963) #239
260. X-Factor (1986) #35
261. Captain America Annual (1971) #3
262. Uncanny X-Men (1963) #s 240-243
263. X-Factor (1986) #s 36-39
264. Fantastic Four (1961) #32
265. Journey Into Mystery (1952) #109
266. Excalibur (1988) #3
267. The New Mutants (1983) #44
268. The Defenders (1972) #125
269. Captain America (1968) #193
270. Fantastic Four (1961) #33
271. Journey Into Mystery (1952) #110
272. Batman/Superman: World’s Finest #36
273. Titans (2023) #20
274. Uncanny X-Men (1963) #s 244-251
275. Fantastic Four (1961) #34
276. Uncanny X-Men (1963) #s 252-255
277. Captain America (1968) #194
278. Journey Into Mystery (1952) #111
279. Astonishing Spider-Man Infinity Comic #14
280. Uncanny X-Men (1963) #s 256-260
281. Wolverine (1988) #11
282. Fantastic Four (1961) #35
283. Journey Into Mystery (1952) #112
284. Uncanny X-Men (1963) #s 261-264
285. Wolverine (1988) #12
286. Avengers (1963) #228
287. Uncanny X-Men (1963) #265
288. Captain America (1968) #195

Of all the sense memories to float to the surface, I was surprised to wake up the other morning suddenly aware of something from a quarter century ago: sitting on a coach at Glasgow Bus Station, preparing to travel back to Aberdeen for… work? A visit with friends? I can’t remember which, exactly; I know for a fact it wasn’t one of the times I was going back to go to school, because of everything else that is happening in the memory: me sitting in the seat, eagerly unwrapping and opening a copy of DC’s Crisis on Infinite Earths collected edition hardcover.

(I just checked; that came out in 2000, so it really was 25 years ago exactly. I must have been going up to Aberdeen to visit friends.)

It’s not the book itself that’s the center of the memory as much as my feelings surrounding it. This was an expensive book — a slipcased hardcover that came with, I think, a poster and maybe something else as well? — and it was by far the most expensive book I’d ever bought for myself brand new by that point in my life. I was very conscious of the fact that I had just spent that amount of money on myself for something that I did not by any measure “need,” and it felt luxuriant in a way that I was so uncomfortable with that I was practically vibrating in the seat as I unwrapped it.

That’s not to say that it was “bad” discomfort as much as it was simply novel discomfort. I felt accomplished and adult to be able to spend this amount of money on just a book, and it felt like a strange benchmark that I had passed by buying it. I remember thinking to myself that it wasn’t just a book but an object that I would always take care of and treasure forever — a four color piece of evidence that I had passed into a particular phase of adulthood.

I was sincere in that at the time, but when I left the country two years later, it was one of many things I left behind. Looking back now, I find myself strangely sad about that. Chalk it up to middle aged nostalgia, I guess.

Part of my “Actually trying to be slightly more deliberate in what I do” approach to 2025 has included the new tradition of reading an issue of Fantastic Four every evening. Specifically, I made the decision to read through the entire Jack Kirby and Stan Lee run of the series — all 104 issues, and the attendant annuals (I think there’s four of them, somewhat fittingly) — an issue per day, no matter how much I might be into it and wanting to rush ahead and read more. I’m also revisiting a bunch of other comic runs that I like an issue per day as well; there’s something to this drip-feed revisit approach that really appeals to me, especially when it comes to going back over favorite comics from my past. It’s weirdly exciting and restorative, in ways that I struggle to understand, never mind put into words.

One of the things about the Fantastic Four issues in particular — and the early Thor stories from Journey Into Mystery, also by Lee and Kirby from basically the same time period, which I started reading as well — is how playful they are. I don’t just mean that in the sense of, “they hadn’t worked everything out and were willing to throw things against the wall and see what stuck,” although that’s always thrilling to see from today’s perspective, especially when it comes to what didn’t stick around.

What I mean is, these stories are often very intentionally silly in a way that feels almost sacrilegious when compared to the self-seriousness of superheroes in pop culture today, and in almost every single case, that silliness is utterly charming and winning to readers. It’s difficult not to enjoy the experience of people in what in the full flush of not just creativity but success, so secure in what they’re doing that they’ll take the piss out of themselves and poke holes in their own work just to see what happens next. The confidence, the swagger, on show in all of this would be infuriating if it wasn’t being punctured right in front of your eyes, so all you’re left with is low key awe at what you’re reading.

If there’s one thing I’d want to see more of in contemporary superhero comics, it’s that willingness — eagerness, even — to embrace silly ideas and notions and run with them, just to see where they lead.

Maybe it’s much too early in the year, but I thought I’d ask you just the same: how much thought do you give to intention in everything you do? I’ve been thinking a lot about that over the past few weeks, in large part because the holiday break gave me an opportunity to stop, take stock, and realize just how much of what I’d been doing what more reactive than fully intentional on my part.

What started me on this train of thought was thinking about certain processes and traditions in work that had essentially evolved by themselves without any of us really fully intending for them to happen — and, in the same frame of mind, noting that certain plans we had made had come to nothing because, again, things had happened that we hadn’t really intended that pulled our attention away at the wrong moment. But it’s not only a work thing; I’ve noticed it in other areas of my life, and even here: things I fell into doing without even noticing, and then after months going, “when did that become a thing?”

(If you don’t know what, I’m not going to show myself up and reveal all.)

Upon realizing this — and, bear in mind, I did so as the year started and thoughts of “resolutions” were in the air, as pointless as that tradition might ultimately be — I told myself that I would at least attempt to be more conscious of what I was doing, and have more actual decision-making going on inside before things happened. Of course, that’s one of those things where the theory and the reality are two drastically different things: as soon as I had to start interacting with the rest of the world, that theory was tested and a lot of purely reactive activity started back up because, turns out, other people have their own opinions, wants, and needs, it seems…?

What’s left, then, is the desire to do better and the hope that doing so will get easier with practice as the year goes forward. That, or I just forget about it entirely again by April or something.

During the holiday break, I read something online along the lines of, “If you feel like you need a break, take a break — don’t do anything at all, and let yourself actually relax without any kind of expectation on you whatsoever — and then take even more of a break, because if you feel like you need a break, chances are you need more of one than you believe.” It was the kind of self-help talk that made my head buzz with recognition, so I decided to heed the advice and proceeded, for the vast majority of 12 days to do as little as possible.

And that’s when I discovered that all of my workaholic tendencies have apparently come back in force.

Back in the day, I managed to hide all the worst workaholic feelings I had because I was a freelancer, and that comes with the Freelancer Hustle, so the impulse to always be working and always be productive could be disguised as, “If I stop for even a minute, then I’m losing income that I can’t afford to give up.” That particular lie — to myself, and others around me — allowed me to work myself into a hole with a defense of it being necessary and, in the grander scheme, maybe even good for me if I could get to a point where I was successful enough that I could relax.

That never happened, of course, but the joys of therapy and a significant change in life circumstances made me realize that I was working too hard and needed to pull back about six or so years ago, and I actually managed to do so for some time with no small amount of smugness: look at me, taking care of myself! And then, this recent break happened and the antsy-ness I felt while purposefully not doing anything let me know that maybe it’s not a habit I’ve entirely broken, after all…

I resisted the urge for pretty much the entire break, however — sometimes, some things really did need to be done — and I’m probably better for the experience, as much as I kind of hate to admit it. The trick for the next few months is working out how to force myself to relax on a regular basis, and not find reasons to work more than necessary in the hopes that I’m earning back time that future me will never claim.