It struck me, admittedly too long after the fact, that the music I was listening to as I walked to the Javits Center each day of this year’s New York Comic Con was a surprisingly good read on where my mood was for each of those days. I was, to put it politely, low key terrified about how this year’s show would go purely because last year’s NYCC was a very stressful affair for me on any number of levels; even the prospect that this year’s could have compared was enough to leave me pre-emptively exhausted and upset even before I set foot in New York again.
(It was not that bad; in fact, as I told someone Sunday night with no small amount of surprise, I actually think it went well, which… I didn’t see coming…?)
Anyway – the playlists of my (short) walk to the convention center each of the mornings of the show:
Wednesday
Day one — technically, day zero, because it’s an industry-only day that is open only to comic professionals while much of the show is still being constructed elsewhere — and this song felt as much like psychic protection as statement of intent: “Getting used to say no is cunty” and “Setting boundaries is cunty” is the kind of message that my subconscious was probably screaming listen to this before you end up with a full day, none of which is your actual work. Feel the stress at play!
Thursday
Again, the stress is in play, and what better sums up the lowkey mania of expecting to walk into a day of chaos (it was, to no small degree) than a rowdy quasi-punk song that has a bunch of people shouting “Keeping the dream/keeping the dream/keeping the dream alive!” over and over again? (I did think, as I was listening to this, that there’s no small amount of irony to me listening to that chant as I was walking into a show based around fandom where the dream is all encompassing.)
Friday
Like I said, Thursday was a pretty rough day for behind the scenes reasons, and I went into the show Friday aware that I needed to psych myself up. Enter, then, De La Soul demanding that I rock it like rocket fuel. I adore this song and very particularly chose it in an attempt to get myself in the fightin’ mood for everything that may have laid ahead. It worked, as far as attempts to get myself in the mood go — but as things worked out, Friday was nowhere near as bad as I’d feared anyway. Maybe DJ Shadow et al worked magic I didn’t even see coming.
Saturday
No prep music on Saturday; I had breakfast and walked to the show with a friend. (I can’t even imagine what I would have listened to, had the option been available.)
Sunday
It was at this point where I knew, oddly, that things were going to be okay and I was perhaps even having a good show. By which I mean, I was maybe a minute into this song and I could feel myself relax and I thought, oh wait, things are better, aren’t they? This song is a piece of magic for me, something that lets me know that there are good things out there and joy and happiness in the world. From 31 seconds in through, maybe, the 1:44 mark, it’s literally perfection for me and, again, I chose this song without thinking and it felt as if it was a sign from my subconscious that everything was going well and I could exhale and breathe normally again.