I’ve discovered that, on the occasions where my brain is stressed about something to the degree that it buzzes pretty continuously in the background without ever truly taking over and pushing everything else out to make room, the anxiety machine has developed an unexpected new treat for me. At the end of the night, I’ll get into bed and lie down, light off, ready to sleep, and slip away… only to wake up a couple of hours later in a fog shaped by only the most trivial of things.
Case in point: a few weeks ago, I was feeling a very low-key work stress as I went to sleep, otherwise having enjoyed a day off where I was binge-watching the enjoyably trashy Love Undercover — they’re soccer stars, but in America, where no-one could care less! It’s a perfect formula for a dating show where the unaware women are so very not bothered when they find out the “secret” — and reading Batman comics. I had successfully ignored the worry about a couple of problems I’d have to juggle the next day, and felt both surprised and happy that I wasn’t lying there utterly awake and exhausted… and then it was suddenly 1am and my brain was trying to tell me some very confused story about Jamie The Footballer getting engaged but also I was Batman somehow and there was some kind of cathedral linking the two together in a way I couldn’t even fully comprehend at the time.
Looking back, I’m not entirely sure I properly woke up as much as my brain quasi-surfaced but left enough of itself in a dream that I was unable to tell the two apart. All I know for sure is that I got up to piss, then got back into bed and lay there, worried about what the cathedral meant in the grand scheme of things, and whether or not I should be hanging out on the roof, given that I was Batman, after all.
That wasn’t the first time something like that had happened, and I’m sadly sure it won’t be the last. It’s as if a connection has been screwed up somewhere, and what should be the garbage disposal unit of the my short-term media memory is accidentally dumping everything into the front of my brain at the wrong time. Thankfully, it’s only happened to make me think I was the Dark Knight one time, so far. That’s not something I have any interest in repeating. Just think how bad things would in Gotham City if that were actually the case…