I’m astonishingly amused to report that I have finally gotten into the World Cup, weeks after Scotland has been knocked out, and literally just a day or so ahead of the US team’s own departure. What won me over was, despite what I just wrote, a particular form of patriotism in its purest form: it’s not that I want the Scottish team to win — I really didn’t pay that much attention to how they were doing, because I was that convinced that they’d not make it out of the first round — but that I very specifically want England to lose.
There’s a (fittingly) football song from Primal Scream and Irvine Welsh from the 1990s called, brilliantly, “The Big Man and the Scream Team Meet the Barmy Army Uptown.” It’s basically a spoken-word thing by Trainspotting author Welsh with “the Scream” making wobbly noises in the back, but it’s done with such lazy confidence that it’s undeniable to me; part of Welsh’s lyric runs, “The mystery of Scottish sport/Is why we hate the English so/I love the English very much/As long as they don’t beat us in the European Nations Cup.” That’s kind of where I am with the World Cup, to some degree. I don’t have anything against the English as a whole, yet I have this deep-seated, core need for the English team to be beaten before the final. It’s enough to make me watch matches where, fuck it, I’ll even admit that the England team is playing well and getting some great goals, even as I hope and cheer for their downfall.
The Welsh lyric at least makes me feel as if whatever is animating my animus is societal and not “my fault,” so to speak, which might be why it’s stronger than my interest in watching Scotland play, never mind any particular belief that Scotland might win. (I never ever, to any degree whatsoever, thought that Scotland had a chance of winning the World Cup; it’s as likely to me as me personally winning the World Cup, and I say that as someone who’s not played football in decades.) And yet: I watched England versus Mexico, and I’ll be watching England versus Norway if I can. (Surreally, I’ll actually be in the city it’s taking place in, thanks to a work trip. I’m lowkey nervous about that element.) All because I want to see a particular team not do well.
That, honestly, feels like the part where I am finally getting into the true spirit of things, in terms of both national feeling and sports fandom.