I’ve written before, I’m sure, about my hatred of waiting for a phone call that you know is going to happen — the way in which the foreknowledge ends up filling my head, making it impossible for me to think about anything else, filling me with both frustration and anxiety before the call itself. This is true even when I’m the one that controls the timing of the call, as is the case today — I have a window during which I can call a mysterious someone for a mysterious something (I know who and why, but it’s not something I want to talk about publicly just yet) — knowing that I can make the call whenever I want (within reason) doesn’t make me love phone calls any more.
And yet, there’s something so surreal about the call, or at least, the reason for the call, that I find myself wanting to laugh and think more kindly about it. Occasionally, something pops up and you’re left thinking, well, this is absolutely ridiculous and so I should follow it through for that reason alone. It’s approaching events for the purposes of future anecdotes, perhaps, but in this case, the potential anecdotal experience along will be worth however much frustration and anxiety are currently on offer and more. I just have to keep reminding myself about that beforehand, over and over again.