I was on a call earlier today, related to a work thing, when I realized that I was accidentally sounding like a stereotypical gangster, even though the actual intent of what I was trying to say was entirely sincere.
I was talking to a party involved in a particular story, about which I happen to know certain facts even though they would never admit to those facts publicly. (Or, at least, not until it fits into a pre-determined publicity plan, which for my purposes amounts to the same thing.) Said facts, I hasten to add, are good things in the grand scheme of things, and something that would reflect well upon said party if they were to be known publicly.
Which is, again, not what said party is currently wanting to happen.
The problem in this case was that there are rumors to the contrary to the facts going around. Rumors that not only contradict said certain facts, but make the unnamed party look undeservedly bad as a result. So, I’m on a call earlier today which basically consists of me saying, please can I report what I believe is the truth so that these rumors don’t become reported and then people think they’re true, instead, and them telling me, more or less, well, we don’t know… over and over again.
At some point in the call, things got heated and I tried to bluntly say something along the lines of, if I can’t get you on the record saying X, then someone’s going to write the record saying Y, at which point I realized: I’ve basically become a fake gangster saying the equivalent of, “Nice reputation you’ve got here, shame if something was going to happen to it.”
I’d like to say that I ended the call there and then, and withdrew from the entire debacle, but reader…? I didn’t. Instead, I plunged ahead, perfectly aware of the surreal and ridiculous circumstance and trying not to laugh out loud every time I spoke.